Weird day. Nothing happened, just how I felt. The usual. I'm emotionally drained right now after getting 60% through A Woman Under the Influence from 1974. Gena Rowlands' performance is breaking my heart, just like in The Notebook. Why did this brilliant film go under the radar and I'd never heard of it before?? Too … Continue reading A Woman Under the Influence
“When you first possess me, I thrive. I’m at my best and in my element. All shadows of doubt and depression, of loneliness and weariness fade away. I am reborn, reincarnated, reinvigorated. I am a newer and better self. This is the self that they love. Come, sweet Mania, and revive the dormant self within me that is begging to get out.”
I can sense you long before your arrival. You send secret messages to me taunting me with your distant presence as you inch toward me. Like a sultry lover you take your time, teasing me, flirting with me, sending sweet thrills through my body and mind before dissipating into the night once more.
I know you are there, simmering away, gathering heat and energy, gathering momentum before exploding into my being, overwhelming me and possessing me. Even though I sensed you coming, it still always takes me by surprise once your iron grip tightens around my mind, squeezing out every last essence of my sense and judgement. I still feel shocked when I catch myself in thoughts and acts that you orchestrated, making me perform like your puppet, your plaything.
I crave the reckless abandon. I long for the freedom, the vigor, the sexuality. I yearn for the…
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https://youtu.be/1LE0LPBnFfg "Hypomania (literally "under mania" or "less than mania") is a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and mood elevation (euphoria), with behavior that is noticeably different from the person's typical behavior when in a non-depressed state. It may involve irritability, but less severely than full mania. According to DSM-5 criteria, hypomania is distinct from … Continue reading Hypomania: Personal anecdotes
"Although it has taken years to be certain, because not all studies have shown the same results, there is now fairly good agreement that the frontal cortex (which is associated with decision-making and controlling impulsive behavior) shrinks in size when bipolar disorder is allowed to progress. This is basically the same result which has been … Continue reading The Biologic Basis of Bipolar Disorder
So, besides poetry, painting is my favorite artistic outlet. And, well, I decided I'd share some of my productions with you. I don't have very many paintings because I'm not always inspired, suicidally depressed, or restlessly manic. But boy do I feel in my element when I paint. You know, art has always meant so … Continue reading What do you see in these strokes? 🎨🖌️
"The Blessing and The Curse" How common is laziness? Idle hands are the devil's work. Are all lazy people doing the devil's work, whatever that even means? Sorry if I've the wrong interpretation. Perception is reality and I enjoy being lazy yet have a strong work ethic when I DO work. Maybe they're just stuck? … Continue reading INFJ manifesto through Bipolar’s eyes
So I'm manic right now and it feels like I'm a completely different person. I have bipolar disorder so that makes the intensity of the depression even more so like you realize just how depressed so many people are but they don't want to admit it? Anyway just wanted to document these words right now … Continue reading Manic manifesto
"We charm people, or we offend them. That's the manic-depressive way. Our personality traits, like exuberance, drive, and openness, attract and alienate at once. Some are inspired by our curiosity, our risk-taking nature. Others are repelled by the energy, the ego, or the debates that can ruin dinner parties. We are intoxicating, and we are … Continue reading Kin by Mania: The Bond I Feel with Other Bipolar People is Inexplicable by Taylor Beck (@taylorbeck216 🐦)
"Cannabidiol (CBD) oil is a product that's derived from cannabis. It's a type of cannabinoid, which are the chemicals naturally found in marijuana plants. Even though it comes from marijuana plants, CBD doesn't create a 'high' effect or any form of intoxication — that's caused by another cannabinoid, known as THC." Source: Healthline Hello again. … Continue reading CBD oil and some sense of stability 🌱