https://youtu.be/GGorABGw418 Quotes from the video from Teal Swan "You refuse to cut your losses." [Wow. This might be the best description of depression I've ever seen.] "Whatever you resist, persists." "You're committed to a dead end." "Why would I scream if there's no one near to hear me?" "Basically you're aware that these little things … Continue reading Futility and depression are synonymous
Some blog posts are planned far in advance while others spill from my mind and into my keyboard immediately for you to see. This one is spilling. This one is for the people who feel stuck. This one is for the people who understand depression.
Depression is real. Your pain is real. It is all valid. Please, listen to me: those nagging thoughts of worthlessness, don’t let them too far in. Your pain is valid, but those nagging thoughts aren’t true.
I know this all too well. I understand your pain. The self-doubt creeps in. The worthlessness creeps in. It can feel like the most real thing in the world. It can feel like the only real thing in the world.
All the pain can make us forget that hope is real. We forget. We get covered in all the bad. Sometimes the bad can smother us. It…
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APRIL 13TH Saturday is ruled by the god of Saturn. I was born on a Saturday and I was born under the planet of Saturn. I am Saturnine. And he's a really tough dad. Making others feel good makes me feel good. My friends are used to the fact that I'm a cry baby. Good … Continue reading Deep thoughts by Carrie
I wanted to use these articles to help educate both myself and others about this distressing, unpredictable feature of bipolar disorder. It has come to my attention because of the unique state I've been experiencing lately. Sometimes I feel [hypo]manic, then I can be triggered into depression, but I can also experience what seems to … Continue reading Mixed affective state 🎭
Wise words from Charlotte Underwood.
“Suicide doesn’t end the pain, it passes it to someone else”
It seems that this quote pops up all around the media and within the mental health community.
Last year, a photo with this exact saying went viral, and it plastered the mental health community.
And I’ll be honest in saying that part of me agrees; because I lived through it.
When I was 18, my father passed away due to a successful suicide attempt.
I know that it was his last choice. He did all he could to live but it didn’t work, he was never the type to give up without a fight.
I’ll never be mad at his choice because, in truth, I completely understand it.
I battled suicidal thoughts throughout my teen years and even today, they can still try to creep up on me.
But while my father’s pain did end, I found a…
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I just observed that it's been over a month since I last posted an original writing. This may be the longest stretch of depression, absent of any significant hypomania, since I was re-diagnosed bipolar in April. This, despite the dosages of my medications being increased on a monthly basis. I met someone last night who … Continue reading When it won’t stop raining
Oh, illness you are crushing me Death's door begs to open for me Brain I cannot handle Strangles my brain, scrambled Hurts, the pain rambles Voices, not my friends Where are my friends? I cannot hear anyone Nothing in my peripheral lens Cats meow and rub on my leg Don't want to stink and Bloat … Continue reading I write words to have a friend
Depression is not sadness; it is being buried in dreams of anxiety and pain It is staring at the same page of a book and not even hearing the rain Depression is not sadness; it is wanting someone there but having nothing to say It is not feeling the wind on a cool breezy day … Continue reading Purgatory, a poem about depression
I came out of another 24-hour sleep coma this early morning. I took my missed pills, refreshed my cats' water, and poured food into their empty bowls. I bid good riddance to Tegretol and started Lamictal the other night. I know I have to titrate the dosage up slowly but I do wish I could … Continue reading Pressing snooze on dying