I last relapsed 5 days short of a year, and now I've made it to 11 months. I've been trying this for 5 years. Let's not do that again. Alcoholism is lonely. Triggers are temporary. Understand that with bipolar disorder, more than half develop a substance abuse disorder, and if I want to shut off … Continue reading Don’t interrupt the process
I have come so far and I'm finally able to really own my progress. I'm proud of Carrie. I stay away from booze, and if I slipped it was for a very brief period. I'm a month and a half away from a YEAR again. I'm still alive. I came very close to taking myself … Continue reading Bipolar in order
I can't believe I made it to the other side; I've reached stability. It's kind of surreal. I have accepted that I'll have bipolar disorder for the rest of my life, but as long as I am able to keep up this treatment regimen and as long as I keep staying away from alcohol I … Continue reading To everything there is a season
25 Signs and Symptoms Of Bipolar Disorder From True Activist (Note: I took the opportunity to edit this article for my blog format so readers do not have to put up with a hundred advertisements and the annoying slideshow) The ability of people to function productively and cope effectively with the rigors of daily life … Continue reading 25 Signs And Symptoms Of Bipolar Disorder (from True Activist)
“When you first possess me, I thrive. I’m at my best and in my element. All shadows of doubt and depression, of loneliness and weariness fade away. I am reborn, reincarnated, reinvigorated. I am a newer and better self. This is the self that they love. Come, sweet Mania, and revive the dormant self within me that is begging to get out.”
I can sense you long before your arrival. You send secret messages to me taunting me with your distant presence as you inch toward me. Like a sultry lover you take your time, teasing me, flirting with me, sending sweet thrills through my body and mind before dissipating into the night once more.
I know you are there, simmering away, gathering heat and energy, gathering momentum before exploding into my being, overwhelming me and possessing me. Even though I sensed you coming, it still always takes me by surprise once your iron grip tightens around my mind, squeezing out every last essence of my sense and judgement. I still feel shocked when I catch myself in thoughts and acts that you orchestrated, making me perform like your puppet, your plaything.
I crave the reckless abandon. I long for the freedom, the vigor, the sexuality. I yearn for the…
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https://youtu.be/1LE0LPBnFfg "Hypomania (literally "under mania" or "less than mania") is a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and mood elevation (euphoria), with behavior that is noticeably different from the person's typical behavior when in a non-depressed state. It may involve irritability, but less severely than full mania. According to DSM-5 criteria, hypomania is distinct from … Continue reading Hypomania: Personal anecdotes
The last time I saw my therapist, I was talking to her about fragmentation, how there are fragments of myself, subpersonalities that aren't integrated, and she suggested this article about addiction and the Internal Family System. A recent and widespread subpersonality method is Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS therapy), developed by Richard C. Schwartz. He … Continue reading Managers, Firefighters, Exiles, and the Self
Signs and symptoms Bipolar Disorder is a condition in which people experience abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) and, in many cases, abnormally depressed states for periods in a way that interferes with functioning. Not everyone's symptoms are the same, and there is no simple physiological test to co.nfirm the disorder. Bipolar Disorder can appear to … Continue reading A comprehensive understanding of Bipolar Disorder
I think I exhausted myself somehow painting at the class tonight, because I'm having a mood decline and there's not much I can do about it except try some Klonopin I've stocked up on. Bipolar Disorder just takes you wherever the f it wants to. My body aches. It's so intrusive. I think one of … Continue reading Dealing with a triggering world
When I was 10, I was a Spice Girls fanatic (Geri especially). I was already on the Internet by now. I got into the school spelling bee but forgot the second "t" in otter. I'd always been reading a lot, and well. My brother and I played with the video camera a lot when we … Continue reading Significant times from my past