When I was 10, I was a Spice Girls fanatic (Geri especially). I was already on the Internet by now. I got into the school spelling bee but forgot the second "t" in otter. I'd always been reading a lot, and well. My brother and I played with the video camera a lot when we … Continue reading Significant times from my past
Some blog posts are planned far in advance while others spill from my mind and into my keyboard immediately for you to see. This one is spilling. This one is for the people who feel stuck. This one is for the people who understand depression.
Depression is real. Your pain is real. It is all valid. Please, listen to me: those nagging thoughts of worthlessness, don’t let them too far in. Your pain is valid, but those nagging thoughts aren’t true.
I know this all too well. I understand your pain. The self-doubt creeps in. The worthlessness creeps in. It can feel like the most real thing in the world. It can feel like the only real thing in the world.
All the pain can make us forget that hope is real. We forget. We get covered in all the bad. Sometimes the bad can smother us. It…
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April 2019 ⬇️ (mild depression/mixed episodes) Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Trileptal 300 MG (twice daily) Effexor 150 MG Klonopin .50 MG (twice daily, PRN) Remeron 7.5 MG March 2019 ⬇️ (no/mild depression) Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Effexor 150 MG Klonopin .50 MG (twice daily, PRN) Remeron 7.5 MG February 2019 ⬇️ (mild depression) … Continue reading Psych history (September 2014 to present)
It is the third day of the A to Z challenge and it is time for the letter C! I am loving this challenge because I feel I can spread awareness around mental illnesses that are more than just a short term thing, but actually affect people’s lives often permanently. So today’s post is about C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). A lot of my blog has been around this disorder so far but I still feel like it deserves a place in this month’s challenge. So here we go!
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is linked to complex trauma. Unlike Post-traumatic stress disorder, that is based upon a single event, CPTSD is often linked to long-term childhood trauma. Complex trauma does not only mean long-term, it also means that the trauma happened in a situation where there was no way out. The person was trapped in the situation, and…
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Mental Health System in America Alcoholism Bipolar Disorder / Manic Depression Borderline Personality Disorder Clinical Depression Drug Addiction Generalized Anxiety Disorder Multiple Personality Disorder / Dissociative Identity Disorder Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Schizophrenia
Dear Carrie, Thank you for the long, relaxing bath by candlelight and music; I know your anxiety was feeling overwhelming tonight. You're so stressed after not working for 3 years, you doubt yourself and your natural initiative. Thank you for putting in the time and money to renew your Pharmacy Tech license. I know you … Continue reading Love letter to myself
I've been suffering from writer's block for a while, mostly because of the numbness I've been feeling ever since I started taking the antipsychotic, Latuda. It feels like all the remaining life force I had has been sucked out of me. It did its job by silencing any hint of hypomania, though. What it's left … Continue reading Writer’s block
More good inspiration via Hannah.
One of my favorite writers, April Green, wrote a short poem that really spoke to me.
And the moon looked down at her and said: ‘you are too full of everything that makes you whole to ever be loved in halves.’
I sent it to my friend, Sarah Snow, who is known for creating visually inspiring videos, each one with a resonating message. She was just as inspired, and we connected with April. Sarah, alongside artist Donna Adi, created a video with a profound message about what it’s like when the person you love doesn’t love you back.
The response to the video, with over 2 million views, clearly shows the number of people who can relate to this message, especially those of us living with a mental illness.
As confident as I may appear to many people, it is difficult to admit that I have always accepted…
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I haven't worked since May 2016. It is not the first time in my adult history that I have been so disabled for so long. When I was fired for absenteeism from my first job in 2008, I wasn't able to stabilize (and get lucky again) until 2011. From May 2011 to January 2015, I … Continue reading The limitations of Bipolar Disorder
You are not alone dealing with a mental illness, and your feelings, mood states, and physical manifestations are valid.
I’m living with a mental illness, and sometimes that can cause people to verbally tiptoe around me, especially the people closest to me. It’s like my friends and loved ones are stuck walking on eggshells sometimes, and I want that to stop.
I recently published a blog titled “10 ‘Harmless Things’ You Say That Hurt Me”. In that post I described what living with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be like, and I shared some extremely hurtful things people have said to me. In that post I asked for kindness, awareness, and acceptance, which I received. But then I realized something really important: in that post I shared things I didn’t want people to say, but I failed to offer advice on what to say. So, I’m doing that now.
So, I guess you could call this the follow-up. In this post I’ll be sharing 10 reassuring…
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