https://youtu.be/wB_JHAm7Izw Haven't written in a while. I've pretty much just been riding out the waves; at least my moods haven't charted like spikes. Here's a 20 minute vlog from tonight. Carrie ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
The last time I saw my therapist, I was talking to her about fragmentation, how there are fragments of myself, subpersonalities that aren't integrated, and she suggested this article about addiction and the Internal Family System. A recent and widespread subpersonality method is Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS therapy), developed by Richard C. Schwartz. He … Continue reading Managers, Firefighters, Exiles, and the Self
The Three Pillars of Loneliness 1. Separation 2. Shame 3. Fear HIGHLIGHTS Part I: The Pillar of Separation "The exact opposite vibration of love is fear." § "There is only one type of pain in this Universe and it is separation; there is only one kind of happiness in this Universe and it is unity." … Continue reading Book: The Anatomy of Loneliness by Teal Swan
There's no reason not to believe in SOMETHING. Some people believe in love, some people believe in a god or source, some people believe in the paranormal. Maybe I need to watch the X-Files soon. 🤔 We are only distinguished by our mood. 1st Date Question: What do you BELIEVE in? That'll weed 'em all … Continue reading More musings from an armchair philosopher
https://youtu.be/GGorABGw418 Quotes from the video from Teal Swan "You refuse to cut your losses." [Wow. This might be the best description of depression I've ever seen.] "Whatever you resist, persists." "You're committed to a dead end." "Why would I scream if there's no one near to hear me?" "Basically you're aware that these little things … Continue reading Futility and depression are synonymous
When I was 10, I was a Spice Girls fanatic (Geri especially). I was already on the Internet by now. I got into the school spelling bee but forgot the second "t" in otter. I'd always been reading a lot, and well. My brother and I played with the video camera a lot when we … Continue reading Significant times from my past
Sometimes it seems that no matter what I do or say it’s the wrong thing. I mean well, but I feel at times that I am judged unfairly. And feeling that I am just better off being alone
most of the time. I like some people but even the ones I love fall short when I need them. I talk too loud, I laugh too loud, I say more than I should but none of this is on purpose. I am who I am and I can’t change
that. Either accept me and quit criticizing me or just let me be to myself. I thought I had good relationships with my family but I think I am overstating that with a few of them. I can live with myself and I can take care
of myself. Asking for favors is no longer an option with one of my family members…
View original post 844 more words
Some blog posts are planned far in advance while others spill from my mind and into my keyboard immediately for you to see. This one is spilling. This one is for the people who feel stuck. This one is for the people who understand depression.
Depression is real. Your pain is real. It is all valid. Please, listen to me: those nagging thoughts of worthlessness, don’t let them too far in. Your pain is valid, but those nagging thoughts aren’t true.
I know this all too well. I understand your pain. The self-doubt creeps in. The worthlessness creeps in. It can feel like the most real thing in the world. It can feel like the only real thing in the world.
All the pain can make us forget that hope is real. We forget. We get covered in all the bad. Sometimes the bad can smother us. It…
View original post 449 more words
APRIL 13TH Saturday is ruled by the god of Saturn. I was born on a Saturday and I was born under the planet of Saturn. I am Saturnine. And he's a really tough dad. Making others feel good makes me feel good. My friends are used to the fact that I'm a cry baby. Good … Continue reading Deep thoughts by Carrie
I wanted to use these articles to help educate both myself and others about this distressing, unpredictable feature of bipolar disorder. It has come to my attention because of the unique state I've been experiencing lately. Sometimes I feel [hypo]manic, then I can be triggered into depression, but I can also experience what seems to … Continue reading Mixed affective state 🎭