Bipolar in Order: A Confessional
Musings on mental health, mental illness, life, love, and philosophy
The last time I saw my therapist, I was talking to her about fragmentation, how there are fragments of myself, subpersonalities that aren't integrated, and she suggested this article about addiction and the Internal Family System. A recent and widespread subpersonality method is Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS therapy), developed by Richard C. Schwartz. He … Continue reading Managers, Firefighters, Exiles, and the Self
"Please be careful with me; I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way." — Jewel Ever since I can remember, I've been called "too sensitive." "Don't take everything so personally," they'd say. "They" didn't realize I was taking on "them." I was a mirror; I unconsciously reflected who they were back to them. "One … Continue reading My experience as an empath
There's no reason not to believe in SOMETHING. Some people believe in love, some people believe in a god or source, some people believe in the paranormal. Maybe I need to watch the X-Files soon. 🤔 We are only distinguished by our mood. 1st Date Question: What do you BELIEVE in? That'll weed 'em all … Continue reading More musings from an armchair philosopher
https://youtu.be/GGorABGw418 Quotes from the video from Teal Swan "You refuse to cut your losses." [Wow. This might be the best description of depression I've ever seen.] "Whatever you resist, persists." "You're committed to a dead end." "Why would I scream if there's no one near to hear me?" "Basically you're aware that these little things … Continue reading Futility and depression are synonymous
Hope this helped 😊🤗
I'd like to preface this post by explaining that in the midst of a manic (or high) state, there is a marked increase in a flight of ideas. All the thoughts that come into your head seem so significant and there is an impulsive need to either share or document these ideas. Reflecting upon them … Continue reading Manic musings
I think I exhausted myself somehow painting at the class tonight, because I'm having a mood decline and there's not much I can do about it except try some Klonopin I've stocked up on. Bipolar Disorder just takes you wherever the f it wants to. My body aches. It's so intrusive. I think one of … Continue reading Dealing with a triggering world
When I was 10, I was a Spice Girls fanatic (Geri especially). I was already on the Internet by now. I got into the school spelling bee but forgot the second "t" in otter. I'd always been reading a lot, and well. My brother and I played with the video camera a lot when we … Continue reading Significant times from my past
Some blog posts are planned far in advance while others spill from my mind and into my keyboard immediately for you to see. This one is spilling. This one is for the people who feel stuck. This one is for the people who understand depression.
Dear You,
Depression is real. Your pain is real. It is all valid. Please, listen to me: those nagging thoughts of worthlessness, don’t let them too far in. Your pain is valid, but those nagging thoughts aren’t true.
I know this all too well. I understand your pain. The self-doubt creeps in. The worthlessness creeps in. It can feel like the most real thing in the world. It can feel like the only real thing in the world.
All the pain can make us forget that hope is real. We forget. We get covered in all the bad. Sometimes the bad can smother us. It…
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May 2019 ⬇️ (no/mild depression) Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Trileptal 300 MG (twice daily) Effexor 150 MG Klonopin .50 MG (twice daily, PRN) Remeron 7.5 MG April 2019 ⬇️ (mild depression/mixed episodes) Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Trileptal 300 MG (twice daily) Effexor 150 MG Klonopin .50 MG (twice daily, PRN) Remeron 7.5 MG … Continue reading Psych history (September 2014 to present)
