πŸ”ƒ Reblog: High As A Kite: My Open Letter to Mania

“When you first possess me, I thrive. I’m at my best and in my element. All shadows of doubt and depression, of loneliness and weariness fade away. I am reborn, reincarnated, reinvigorated. I am a newer and better self. This is the self that they love. Come, sweet Mania, and revive the dormant self within me that is begging to get out.”

Bipolar: Candid Crazy

Dear Mania,

I can sense you long before your arrival. You send secret messages to me taunting me with your distant presence as you inch toward me. Like a sultry lover you take your time, teasing me, flirting with me, sending sweet thrills through my body and mind before dissipating into the night once more.

I know you are there, simmering away, gathering heat and energy, gathering momentum before exploding into my being, overwhelming me and possessing me. Even though I sensed you coming, it still always takes me by surprise once your iron grip tightens around my mind, squeezing out every last essence of my sense and judgement. I still feel shocked when I catch myself in thoughts and acts that you orchestrated, making me perform like your puppet, your plaything.

I crave the reckless abandon. I long for the freedom, the vigor, the sexuality. I yearn for the…

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My Experience, Strength, and Hope in Alcoholics Anonymous

https://youtu.be/Mb6yDipWCL0 Originally published on September 27th, 2017 My latest (and, God-willing, last) sobriety date is 08/10/17. "There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." - Pg 58 of Alcoholics Anonymous It took me an hour and a half to … Continue reading My Experience, Strength, and Hope in Alcoholics Anonymous