When I was 10, I was a Spice Girls fanatic (Geri especially). I was already on the Internet by now. I got into the school spelling bee but forgot the second "t" in otter. I'd always been reading a lot, and well. My brother and I played with the video camera a lot when we … Continue reading Significant times from my past
Some blog posts are planned far in advance while others spill from my mind and into my keyboard immediately for you to see. This one is spilling. This one is for the people who feel stuck. This one is for the people who understand depression.
Depression is real. Your pain is real. It is all valid. Please, listen to me: those nagging thoughts of worthlessness, don’t let them too far in. Your pain is valid, but those nagging thoughts aren’t true.
I know this all too well. I understand your pain. The self-doubt creeps in. The worthlessness creeps in. It can feel like the most real thing in the world. It can feel like the only real thing in the world.
All the pain can make us forget that hope is real. We forget. We get covered in all the bad. Sometimes the bad can smother us. It…
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April 2019 ⬇️ (mild depression/mixed episodes) Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Trileptal 300 MG (twice daily) Effexor 150 MG Klonopin .50 MG (twice daily, PRN) Remeron 7.5 MG March 2019 ⬇️ (no/mild depression) Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Effexor 150 MG Klonopin .50 MG (twice daily, PRN) Remeron 7.5 MG February 2019 ⬇️ (mild depression) … Continue reading Psych history (September 2014 to present)
So, besides poetry, painting is my favorite artistic outlet. And, well, I decided I'd share some of my productions with you. I don't have very many paintings because I'm not always inspired, suicidally depressed, or restlessly manic. But boy do I feel in my element when I paint. You know, art has always meant so … Continue reading What do you see in these strokes? 🎨🖌️
It is the third day of the A to Z challenge and it is time for the letter C! I am loving this challenge because I feel I can spread awareness around mental illnesses that are more than just a short term thing, but actually affect people’s lives often permanently. So today’s post is about C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). A lot of my blog has been around this disorder so far but I still feel like it deserves a place in this month’s challenge. So here we go!
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is linked to complex trauma. Unlike Post-traumatic stress disorder, that is based upon a single event, CPTSD is often linked to long-term childhood trauma. Complex trauma does not only mean long-term, it also means that the trauma happened in a situation where there was no way out. The person was trapped in the situation, and…
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Mental Health System in America Alcoholism Bipolar Disorder / Manic Depression Borderline Personality Disorder Clinical Depression Drug Addiction Generalized Anxiety Disorder Multiple Personality Disorder / Dissociative Identity Disorder Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Schizophrenia
Dear Carrie, Thank you for the long, relaxing bath by candlelight and music; I know your anxiety was feeling overwhelming tonight. You're so stressed after not working for 3 years, you doubt yourself and your natural initiative. Thank you for putting in the time and money to renew your Pharmacy Tech license. I know you … Continue reading Love letter to myself
I've been suffering from writer's block for a while, mostly because of the numbness I've been feeling ever since I started taking the antipsychotic, Latuda. It feels like all the remaining life force I had has been sucked out of me. It did its job by silencing any hint of hypomania, though. What it's left … Continue reading Writer’s block
I just observed that it's been over a month since I last posted an original writing. This may be the longest stretch of depression, absent of any significant hypomania, since I was re-diagnosed bipolar in April. This, despite the dosages of my medications being increased on a monthly basis. I met someone last night who … Continue reading When it won’t stop raining