Dear Carrie, Thank you for the long, relaxing bath by candlelight and music; I know your anxiety was feeling overwhelming tonight. You're so stressed after not working for 3 years, you doubt yourself and your natural initiative. Thank you for putting in the time and money to renew your Pharmacy Tech license. I know you … Continue reading Love letter to myself
Tonight I have been suffering with intense depression and restless anxiety, but just a few hours ago I found a lovely angel on YouTube, an "ASMRtist" that uses gentle, soothing sound effects and role plays as she grooms you into total relaxation. I have definitely added her to my Emergency Depression Kit playlist. If you … Continue reading ASMR for relaxation and comfort
I've been suffering from writer's block for a while, mostly because of the numbness I've been feeling ever since I started taking the antipsychotic, Latuda. It feels like all the remaining life force I had has been sucked out of me. It did its job by silencing any hint of hypomania, though. What it's left … Continue reading Writer’s block
I just observed that it's been over a month since I last posted an original writing. This may be the longest stretch of depression, absent of any significant hypomania, since I was re-diagnosed bipolar in April. This, despite the dosages of my medications being increased on a monthly basis. I met someone last night who … Continue reading When it won’t stop raining
I haven't worked since May 2016. It is not the first time in my adult history that I have been so disabled for so long. When I was fired for absenteeism from my first job in 2008, I wasn't able to stabilize (and get lucky again) until 2011. From May 2011 to January 2015, I … Continue reading The limitations of Bipolar Disorder
You are not alone dealing with a mental illness, and your feelings, mood states, and physical manifestations are valid.
I’m living with a mental illness, and sometimes that can cause people to verbally tiptoe around me, especially the people closest to me. It’s like my friends and loved ones are stuck walking on eggshells sometimes, and I want that to stop.
I recently published a blog titled “10 ‘Harmless Things’ You Say That Hurt Me”. In that post I described what living with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be like, and I shared some extremely hurtful things people have said to me. In that post I asked for kindness, awareness, and acceptance, which I received. But then I realized something really important: in that post I shared things I didn’t want people to say, but I failed to offer advice on what to say. So, I’m doing that now.
So, I guess you could call this the follow-up. In this post I’ll be sharing 10 reassuring…
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I’m letting my heart spill out through my keyboard… metaphorically, of course, and I’m offering it all to you. Today, I’m going to talk about my mental health. This is something that I’ve worked to conceal for a long time, mostly because of the negative stigma attached to mental illness. I’m sharing for two main reasons; (1) to educate people, and (2) to show people like me that they are not alone.
For the record: I’m living with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder… In this post I’m sharing 10 “harmless things” that people have said to me that actually cause me a great deal of pain. I’m also sharing how they make me feel, and why, while giving you an inside look at my life.
So, these are the things I wish you wouldn’t say to me;
“You don’t look like you have a mental illness.”
More commonly stated as…
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"Cannabidiol (CBD) oil is a product that's derived from cannabis. It's a type of cannabinoid, which are the chemicals naturally found in marijuana plants. Even though it comes from marijuana plants, CBD doesn't create a 'high' effect or any form of intoxication — that's caused by another cannabinoid, known as THC." Source: Healthline Hello again. … Continue reading CBD oil and some sense of stability 🌱
I'm a bookworm. A voracious reader. I wouldn't know how to write if I didn't read. Here are 12 books that have played the biggest role in helping me navigate my depression and subsequent existentialism. I highly recommend them and hope they will benefit someone's life, too. DEPRESSION AND FINDING MEANING The Noonday Demon: An … Continue reading 12 books that have helped my depression
That's the thing that people who don't live with depression don't understand. You aren't some caricature of a "suicidal person" wallowing in sadness and contemplating ending your life, as much as you are an exhausted person who has been so drained of hope, that you now believe the lie that your mind tells you that … Continue reading Finding One Reason to Keep Living (Fighting Depression)