πŸ”ƒ Reblog: High As A Kite: My Open Letter to Mania

“When you first possess me, I thrive. I’m at my best and in my element. All shadows of doubt and depression, of loneliness and weariness fade away. I am reborn, reincarnated, reinvigorated. I am a newer and better self. This is the self that they love. Come, sweet Mania, and revive the dormant self within me that is begging to get out.”

Bipolar: Candid Crazy

Dear Mania,

I can sense you long before your arrival. You send secret messages to me taunting me with your distant presence as you inch toward me. Like a sultry lover you take your time, teasing me, flirting with me, sending sweet thrills through my body and mind before dissipating into the night once more.

I know you are there, simmering away, gathering heat and energy, gathering momentum before exploding into my being, overwhelming me and possessing me. Even though I sensed you coming, it still always takes me by surprise once your iron grip tightens around my mind, squeezing out every last essence of my sense and judgement. I still feel shocked when I catch myself in thoughts and acts that you orchestrated, making me perform like your puppet, your plaything.

I crave the reckless abandon. I long for the freedom, the vigor, the sexuality. I yearn for the…

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πŸ”ƒ Reblog: The Less Contact I Have With People The Better Off I Am…. Bipolar and Sensitivity

Patricia Nees

Sometimes it seems that no matter what I do or say it’s the wrong thing. I mean well, but I feel at times that I am judged unfairly. And feeling that I am just better off being alone
most of the time. I like some people but even the ones I love fall short when I need them. I talk too loud, I laugh too loud, I say more than I should but none of this is on purpose. I am who I am and I can’t change
that. Either accept me and quit criticizing me or just let me be to myself. I thought I had good relationships with my family but I think I am overstating that with a few of them. I can live with myself and I can take care
of myself. Asking for favors is no longer an option with one of my family members…

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πŸ”ƒ Reblog: Too… Sensitive.

Sensitivity is a gift. You’re not “too” sensitive. You are just enough sensitive.

Meditative Owl

Image by Bibarys Ibatolla @ Unsplash

Something that I feel has come up a lot over the last week or so, is this notion of being β€˜too’ something. It was something that was mentioned in my writing on Tuesday and, unsurprisingly, something we discussed in therapy on Wednesday. Last weekend I found myself mentally compiling a list of everything I felt I was too…

  • Too sensitive
  • Too emotional
  • Too caring
  • Too tired
  • Too disorganised
  • Too big
  • Too quiet
  • Too open minded

I also felt that I do things too much, things like…

  • Thinking
  • Procrastinating
  • Spending time mindlessly scrolling through Twitter or Instagram…

When you look at them in a list, when your logical brain
kicks in, it all seems rather ridiculous. How can any of us be too anything? We are who we are – I am a
sensitive, caring, disorganised and open-minded person who spends a lot…

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What do you see in these strokes? πŸŽ¨πŸ–ŒοΈ

So, besides poetry, painting is my favorite artistic outlet. And, well, I decided I'd share some of my productions with you. I don't have very many paintings because I'm not always inspired, suicidally depressed, or restlessly manic. But boy do I feel in my element when I paint. You know, art has always meant so … Continue reading What do you see in these strokes? πŸŽ¨πŸ–ŒοΈ