Dear Carrie, Thank you for the long, relaxing bath by candlelight and music; I know your anxiety was feeling overwhelming tonight. You're so stressed after not working for 3 years, you doubt yourself and your natural initiative. Thank you for putting in the time and money to renew your Pharmacy Tech license. I know you … Continue reading Love letter to myself
Tonight I have been suffering with intense depression and restless anxiety, but just a few hours ago I found a lovely angel on YouTube, an "ASMRtist" that uses gentle, soothing sound effects and role plays as she grooms you into total relaxation. I have definitely added her to my Emergency Depression Kit playlist. If you … Continue reading ASMR for relaxation and comfort
You are not alone dealing with a mental illness, and your feelings, mood states, and physical manifestations are valid.
I’m living with a mental illness, and sometimes that can cause people to verbally tiptoe around me, especially the people closest to me. It’s like my friends and loved ones are stuck walking on eggshells sometimes, and I want that to stop.
I recently published a blog titled “10 ‘Harmless Things’ You Say That Hurt Me”. In that post I described what living with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be like, and I shared some extremely hurtful things people have said to me. In that post I asked for kindness, awareness, and acceptance, which I received. But then I realized something really important: in that post I shared things I didn’t want people to say, but I failed to offer advice on what to say. So, I’m doing that now.
So, I guess you could call this the follow-up. In this post I’ll be sharing 10 reassuring…
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I’m letting my heart spill out through my keyboard… metaphorically, of course, and I’m offering it all to you. Today, I’m going to talk about my mental health. This is something that I’ve worked to conceal for a long time, mostly because of the negative stigma attached to mental illness. I’m sharing for two main reasons; (1) to educate people, and (2) to show people like me that they are not alone.
For the record: I’m living with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder… In this post I’m sharing 10 “harmless things” that people have said to me that actually cause me a great deal of pain. I’m also sharing how they make me feel, and why, while giving you an inside look at my life.
So, these are the things I wish you wouldn’t say to me;
“You don’t look like you have a mental illness.”
More commonly stated as…
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"Cannabidiol (CBD) oil is a product that's derived from cannabis. It's a type of cannabinoid, which are the chemicals naturally found in marijuana plants. Even though it comes from marijuana plants, CBD doesn't create a 'high' effect or any form of intoxication — that's caused by another cannabinoid, known as THC." Source: Healthline Hello again. … Continue reading CBD oil and some sense of stability 🌱
I know typing that feels premature, even after successfully deleting (and not just deactivating) my accounts. But as any addict has thought a thousand times before, I can't do this anymore. I kept knowingly continuing to torture myself under the guise of hope, but after tonight, after enough years of trying, I should know all … Continue reading Tonight, I quit online dating forever
This week has been rough emotionally, as it feels like I was teased with a healthy brain and then it was promptly taken away again. It is so painful to have to feel like that, especially after having just climbed out of a very long severe depression. I would say it's unfair, but who ever … Continue reading It hurts when I sleep
After waking up from sleeping all afternoon, I've been struggling tonight with some moderate depression. After logging in to a mood app, I realized I've had 3 significant stressors today so I will try not to be too hard on myself. I went to my first job interview in a long while, and while I … Continue reading Pause, breathe, and reflect
Written in Summer 2017 I was born to write; it is my oldest passion and it remains my truest. A writer's greatest handicap is writer's block. I have drawn before but it does not cause me suffering to not draw. I have painted before but I don't have to paint to express myself. But writing. … Continue reading What bipolar depression sounds like
I am just coming down from a major depressive episode. I am still breathing pretty hard and fast, but I have stopped crying. I called Nick and pleaded for him to please come back up here and comfort me as I cannot go down there. The fuckers hate me for no reason. So I hate … Continue reading February 13th, 2016