https://youtu.be/LwrQXI4_mgo I don't go to therapy to find out if I'm a freak I go and I find the one and only answer every week And it's just me and all the memories to follow Down any course that fits within a fifty minute hour And we fathom all the mysteries, explicit and inherent When … Continue reading What do you hear in these sounds?
I've been suffering from writer's block for a while, mostly because of the numbness I've been feeling ever since I started taking the antipsychotic, Latuda. It feels like all the remaining life force I had has been sucked out of me. It did its job by silencing any hint of hypomania, though. What it's left … Continue reading Writer’s block
I just observed that it's been over a month since I last posted an original writing. This may be the longest stretch of depression, absent of any significant hypomania, since I was re-diagnosed bipolar in April. This, despite the dosages of my medications being increased on a monthly basis. I met someone last night who … Continue reading When it won’t stop raining
In the funny way that life happens, I lapsed back onto alcohol the night of August 5th, just five days shy of my one year "soberversary." Misfires in our brain may cause misfires in our lives, but they need not be permanent. Seeing these misfires as opportunities for growth doesn't happen right away and sometimes … Continue reading Abandonment wounds and the recovery process
Recently I had the honor of being nominated by "Lotus Flower" (@LotusFl63450259 on 🐦) at My Fitness Journey with Fibro for the Sunshine Blogger Award. She and I both strive to stay above water and shine despite our bipolar disorder diagnoses. She also battles fibromyalgia and I deal with chronic inflammation attributed to the bipolar. … Continue reading My Sunshine Blogger Award nominations 🌞
I haven't worked since May 2016. It is not the first time in my adult history that I have been so disabled for so long. When I was fired for absenteeism from my first job in 2008, I wasn't able to stabilize (and get lucky again) until 2011. From May 2011 to January 2015, I … Continue reading The limitations of Bipolar Disorder
Revisiting my journal entries from late 2015 re: my boyfriend at the time, whom I adored and praised routinely in my writings. I am sobbing like I always do when I think about him. I got no closure. It ended abruptly through a text message, after 3 years. His friends hated me for no reason … Continue reading If I have nothing else, I have my words
My darling read my heart, for she left on Only her chains and bracelets and her beads, The powerful regalia of one Who knows the way a potentate is pleased. A glimpse of Paradise in beaten gold Whose tantalizing music leaves me stunned, For I am often easily beguiled When subtle lights and sounds are … Continue reading “The Jewels” by Charles Baudelaire