February 13th, 2016

I am just coming down from a major depressive episode. I am still breathing pretty hard and fast, but I have stopped crying. I called Nick and pleaded for him to please come back up here and comfort me as I cannot go down there.

The fuckers hate me for no reason. So I hate them back. Fuck them. I wish and I hope that Nick doesn’t re-sign the lease with them, but I don’t know what else he would do. He won’t move in with me with my dad still living here.

I am trying to relax and calm down but my body is still stressed out from the attack. I couldn’t get out of bed today and I feel frozen. I am hungry. I need comfort, touch. Words of love and encouragement. I cried and now I am tired from crying.

I feel alone and scared and embarrassed and humiliated. I hate that I can’t do what I want and need to do. Nick is so frustrated, he can only be upset with me. I need him to comfort me and love me. I am focusing on my breathing.

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