Revisiting my journal entries from late 2015 re: my boyfriend at the time, whom I adored and praised routinely in my writings. I am sobbing like I always do when I think about him. I got no closure. It ended abruptly through a text message, after 3 years. His friends hated me for no reason … Continue reading If I have nothing else, I have my words
I believe the children are our are future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be Everybody searching for a hero People need someone to … Continue reading Greatest love of all
I'm a bookworm. A voracious reader. I wouldn't know how to write if I didn't read. Here are 12 books that have played the biggest role in helping me navigate my depression and subsequent existentialism. I highly recommend them and hope they will benefit someone's life, too. DEPRESSION AND FINDING MEANING The Noonday Demon: An … Continue reading 12 books that have helped my depression
That's the thing that people who don't live with depression don't understand. You aren't some caricature of a "suicidal person" wallowing in sadness and contemplating ending your life, as much as you are an exhausted person who has been so drained of hope, that you now believe the lie that your mind tells you that … Continue reading Finding One Reason to Keep Living (Fighting Depression)
I vow to never take another SSRI, no matter what! I will handle my chronic pain and depression/ anxiety in other ways. In my opinion, Cymbalta, and the withdrawal, is worse than the disease for which I took it.
I have a chronic pain condition. It came out of nowhere. I didn’t even know the condition existed. Similar to fibromyalgia, it is specific to certain parts of the body instead of widespread. I was prescribed Cymbalta by a doctor at a prestigious Pain Management Clinic. Cymbalta worked immediately. I was happy to resume a normal life, pain-free.
A few months later I began to feel dizzy. Then weak. There was a constant low-grade headache. (We won’t even talk about constipation.) I ignored the malaise until one day when I nearly ended up in the hospital. I had been working hard, exerting myself, something I don’t usually do. I thought…
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Having bipolar disorder can feel like you are in a deep hole and can’t get out when you are depressed and suicide enters your mind. When you are manic, it can feel like you are on the top of the world and don’t want to leave it. However, sometimes, when you are manic and have been riding the roller coaster over and over, it is tempting to jump off the ledge too.
People think that mania is a great thing. What they don’t realize is that when you are manic you do things that you regret and can hurt people you love. You learn to not like the mania because of these reasons and because you know you will come crashing down and the higher you go, the lower you get afterwards.
Medicine is the answer for many and there are other treatments too. For me, I am starting to…
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My darling read my heart, for she left on Only her chains and bracelets and her beads, The powerful regalia of one Who knows the way a potentate is pleased. A glimpse of Paradise in beaten gold Whose tantalizing music leaves me stunned, For I am often easily beguiled When subtle lights and sounds are … Continue reading “The Jewels” by Charles Baudelaire